I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't deserve a penis
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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