and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
porn star boner night. come get it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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