definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He has the fingertips of a God
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