He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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