You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize