We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
