I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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