All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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