As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
