i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
