3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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