i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize