Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
