I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
