Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
its not stalking. its research.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
