Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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