some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
