marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
