Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
