I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
