So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
