thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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