help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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