:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The uberlube is also flammable
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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