after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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