i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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