Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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