I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
