he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
