Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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