i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
