Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
