I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
