i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
