I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
