You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
