worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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