I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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