Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
