the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
