I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
