there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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