Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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