They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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