If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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