it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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