He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
