it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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