For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
