I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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