can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize