I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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