Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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