The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
