Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
