Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
