I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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