oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
