He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
