READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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